Every single person who died in that movie died because of Nick.

You may not remember Nick. He's the wildlife photographer Hammond hired to go with Ian's team. We later find out he's an eco-terrorist, too.

During the course of the movie, he:
- releases all of Team Bad's captured dinosaurs, causing a stampede that destroys Team Bad's communications equipment,
- takes an injured t-rex baby back to his base camp, which brings the adult t-rexes along to kill one of Ian's team and destroy all of their equipment, and
- unloads Roland's gun, which means Roland can't shoot the t-rex when it's wandering through the panicking camp.

As a side effect of getting all that equipment destroyed, everyone has to band together and march into the velociraptor territory at the center of the island because there's communications equipment in the old Ingen labs there.

As a side effect of unloading Roland's gun, when Roland reloads it, he uses tranqs. So when he does shoot the t-rex, it remains alive and can be taken to San Diego.

Nick did NOT deserve to survive this movie.
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This man is playing Howard Stark in "Captain America: the First Avenger". (These shots are from the movie "The Devil's Double".)

So I am totally into Howard Stark/Steve Rogers. Added bonus of blowing Tony's poor mind. :D
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Title: Tony Has a Weird Day
Characters: Tony Stark, Thor, Jeff (OC), Pepper Potts
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1000+
Summary: After Mourning, Thor has some questions for Tony Stark.
Author's Notes: Many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] spyridona for helping me with Tony's dialogue. She is so much better with him than I am, and pretty much all the good Tony lines are hers.

Tony Has a Weird Day )
....

Yeah, that just happened.

The imperial family in this movie puts the "fun" in "dysfunctional". The Emperor is poisoning the Empress, either because she's sleeping with her step-son and his crown prince or just because. From what we see of the Emperor, I'm leaning towards 'just because'.

Crown Prince Wan has been having an affair with the Empress. He also has been having an affair with the Imperial Doctor's daughter.

The Imperial Doctor, on order of the Emperor, has been having his daughter add a poison to the Empress's medicine that will destroy her mental faculties within six months.

Second Prince Jai has just returned from warring in the frontiers. He loves his mother in an entirely filial way. He loves his mother more than his father, which is a key and important thing when the Empress tells him the Emperor is poisoning her.

Third Prince Yu seems very innocent, except for the part where we see him listening around when everyone is conspiring in various ways.

This all culminates in the night of the Chrysanthemum Festival, and... oh dear GOD, the ending of this movie. The entire night of the Chrysanthemum Festival is just so... There is nothing I can say that is not full of spoilers. And even the spoilers will be interspersed with me just going "... yeah, that just happened".

The costuming is gorgeous, the sets are amazing, and the whole thing is just full of this dazzling opulence. It almost distracts from the way the Emperor and the Empress are complete NUTJOBS.
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beckyh2112: (Default)
( Apr. 18th, 2011 11:19 pm)
Dear GOD, Yul Brynner and Charlton Heston are hot.

And the costumes! Swoon. Guh. The sets and costumes, and you just want to admire everything so much. Beautifully, beautifully made.

Nefertari was a bitch.

I need to watch more movies with Yul Brynner in them. Also, I need to own a copy of this myself.
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Title: Worthless Brother
Characters: Imhotep, Jonathan
Word Count: 200+

Worthless Brother )
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Something I wrote for [livejournal.com profile] tigerkat24's [livejournal.com profile] fandom_stocking. Got another one I'll post tomorrow night.

Title: Shadows
Characters: Imhotep, Evelyn
Word Count: 300+

Shadows )
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beckyh2112: (GI Joe: Baby Ninjas!)
( Dec. 29th, 2010 11:15 pm)
The way we watch Rocky IV in my house, we skip to the part where Rocky travels to Russia for training. Then we sit and watch the rest of the movie, admiring the training montage, commenting over the turning point in the match, sharing the story of "that idiot on the mailing list who didn't get it. The point isn't that Rocky is stronger than Drago, 'cause he's not. The point is Rocky has more will."

Duke: [to Rocky] You see? You see? He's not a machine, he's a man, he's a man.
Drago: [to his own trainer] He's not human. He's like a piece of iron.
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beckyh2112: (Onmyoji: Dosun)
( Apr. 25th, 2010 12:35 pm)
A week or two ago ish, [livejournal.com profile] james_nicoll asked for some recommendations of Heian-era period dramas. I browsed the Wikipedia descriptions of the various recommended movies and went largely "wow, this is kind of depressing". Then someone recommended Onmyoji with the note that it was full of demons, sorcerers, demonic gourds, and magic.

"Fun!" Says I. So I spent part of my birthday money to pick up a copy.

It is very, very fun. Also, if you love dorky hats, this is the movie for you.

Watch the subtitled track rather than the English dub, by the way. The original Japanese sounds much better on the ears than the English dub.

The two protagonists of Onmyoji, Abe no Seimei and Minamoto no Hiromasa, are historical figures. However, this movie is about as historically accurate as most King Arthur movies. Possibly the costuming/sets are more historically accurate than most King Arthur movies, but I am not too familiar with what would be accurate as far as that goes in that time and place.

The onmyoji are also an historical government institution - they're a government official who professionally practices onmyodo for the Bureau of Onmyo. Their duties varied from keeping track of the calendar to performing divinations and protecting the capital from evil spirits. Useful things for a government bureau to be doing, you know?

The movie opens with the head of the Onmyoji, Dosun, delivering his latest divinations to the Mikado Emperor and the Right and Left Ministers. Among other things, one of the Mikado's wives is about to deliver a son. Meanwhile, Abe no Seimei is off hanging out with another of the Emperor's wives. Because that's just how he rolls.

After the meeting, Dosun and his minions run into Seimei on their way to wherever they're all going. Seimei has this shit-eating, "I just got laid" grin on his face that he will wear for pretty much the entire movie. (No wonder there are rumors this guy's mother was a kitsune. He sure looks like a sly fox most of the time.) They also run into the Minister of the Right, and two of his fellows, one of whom is Minamoto no Hiromasa.

People challenge Seimei on his power, and to demonstrate, the Right Minister demands he kill a butterfly without touching it. Seimei and Hiromasa are both "Dude, not cool", but Seimei does it anyway.

Everyone kind of freaks after that.

Then there is the gourd in the pine tree, and Hiromasa is sent to fetch Seimei to do something about this demonic manifestation. This is how they meet and start to become friends. Hiromasa, by the way, is a terrible dork, but he plays the flute most excellently.

The Minister of the Right is most upset, however, when the Mikado's son is born. It seems his daughter had previously borne the Mikado a daughter. But now that there is a son... Dosun approaches the Minister about working some magic.

Which is how Seimei and Dosun get involved in magically trying to deal with each other - Hiromasa asks his friend Seimei to help when the little prince falls under a curse.

There is so much more going on - forbidden loves, demons, more demons, undying loves, butterfly girls, Lady Aone, and eventually Dosun going "fuck it, let's stop even pretending to be sane and go for the crazy, grungy sexgod look. Also, drag the city into a hell of Eternal Darkness using the power of the murderous spirit of Prince Sawara."

Very fun movie.
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beckyh2112: (Kitten go 'whut?')
( Oct. 9th, 2009 12:54 am)
Title: With a Forklift
Fandom: Fugitive Alien
Characters: Rocky/Ken
Word Count: 1200+
Rating: G
Summary: Three years after the events of "Star Force: Fugitive Alien II", Rocky pays a visit to Varna Star and runs into Ken.
Author's Notes: This is one of those signs that I'm completely and utterly deranged. I spent today watching the "Fugitive Alien" MSTings, and the forklift song got stuck in my head. Then I wrote slash for a pair of B-movie Japanese sci-fi flicks.

This is the only context you really need. The rest will just hurt you.

You may blame [livejournal.com profile] dark_puck and [livejournal.com profile] dunmurderin for enabling me.

With a Forklift )
beckyh2112: (Default)
( Sep. 15th, 2009 08:50 pm)
I haven't done one of these in a coon's age. Credit me if you use them.

- Pirates of the Caribbean (x2)
- GI Joe: Sigma Six (x2)
- Avatar: the Last Airbender (all the rest)

Cut because I love you )
beckyh2112: (Demolition: Looking at You)
( Mar. 13th, 2009 10:35 pm)
Dad's out of town for the weekend, so Mom and I went to the Blockbuster to get some movies he would never be interested in watching. I picked up "Friday the 13th" since we've just had a remake come out, and it is a huge franchise series. Time to see where all this got started, you know?

Having watched it now, I have no idea how we went from this movie to the rest of the franchise.

We actually spend most of the movie with no idea who the killer is at all. The first-person camera point-of-view whenever the killer was doing something was rather clever, I have to admit. It did lead to some jokes about the cameraman being the killer, though.

I wanted to take the composer out back and clock him. The music was so very, very annoying, especially when the killer was doing his thing. It sounded like someone really liked the music from the shower scene in "Psycho" and felt the urge to replicate it whenever even mildly appropriate.

The fact that we had two girls willing to run around pantsless in the woods, at night, in the middle of a violent thunderstorm impressed the hell out of me.

It really annoyed me it took seventy minutes into the ninety-five minute movie for anyone to find out people had been killed at all. By that time, they'd whittled the cast down from six or seven people to the Final Girl. SEVENTY MINUTES!

She did find the second body five minutes later. Well, 'thrown through the window at the Final Girl' qualifies as 'found'.

Speaking of whom, the Final Girl annoyed me so very, very much. Useless, ineffective, cringing git.

It also annoyed me once the killer and the killer's motivations were revealed to the audience, the killer become mysteriously incapable of actually, you know, killing the Final Girl.

The surprise pop-up of Jason at the end was certainly shocking, I must admit. They left it nicely open-ended, too. He could have been there, or he could have been the Final Girl's delusion from her night of traumatic horror. Either way worked.

So a little quick Wiki research on the Friday the 13th franchise reveals neither the original scriptwriter nor the original director/producer came back for the next few sequels. This may explain how we got from what was going on in the original Friday the 13th to Jason.

Additionally, the budget for Friday the 13th was 550k, while the national gross from showing it was 40 million.

Half a million to make the movie, forty million US box office revenue. Sixty million world-wide.

Yeah, I see why they made a sequel.
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This was a summer movie last year, so I am assuming the statute of limitations on spoilers has run out.

- Imhotep is a vastly better villain than the Dragon Emperor. Mostly because the Dragon Emperor is just "grrrr, evil" rather than "I loved this woman, and I killed my lord for her and tried to raise her from the dead 'cause I loved her so much".

Also the prologue explaining the Dragon Emperor was way too long. I'm not honestly sure how they could have shortened it, but I do think it should have been shorter.

(Also, also, the Dragon Emperor makes a good evil Avatar.)

- On the up side, the effects were awesome. Especially when he was riding around Chinatown in his terracotta chariot with his terracotta horses. Also, the way he would regenerate his terracotta body every now and then was very cool. Loved the effects they used in this movie.

Especially the Yetis. Puck, the yetis look very excellent. May see if you could use them in any future DegSep videos.

- The chase scene when the Emperor awoke. Oh god. So painfully over-the-top.

Some of the jokes were also painfully over-the-top.

- Not using Evie's previous actress was really jarring. The new one was quite good, and her voice and accent were singularly excellent, but I just kept going "that's not Evie" whenever I actually looked at her.

- We end the movie with Jonathan leaving behind his club in Shanghai to take this epic blue diamond and move to a place far away from mummies - Peru. (The last bit of the movie is a placard saying 'shortly thereafter, mummies were discovered in Peru'.) Hee!

- Alex O'Connell raised his mother from the dead in The Mummy Returns. In Tomb of the Dragon-Emperor, he raises his father from the dead.

Separation issues much?

(I think, if there is a fourth movie, it should involve the mummies in Peru and Jonathan should get raised from the dead.)
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beckyh2112: (Default)
( Feb. 16th, 2009 12:47 am)
Push had better be as awesome as the trailer looks, because it's full of psionics and I need to see it like whoa.
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beckyh2112: (Sun and Storm)
»

X2

( Aug. 16th, 2008 11:22 pm)
"I thought you were one of a kind, Wolverine. I was wrong."
- William Stryker, X-Men 2

There is a part of me that wishes Stryker had lived long enough to meet Sabretooth.
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beckyh2112: (Rage; Vampires)
( Jun. 13th, 2008 09:35 pm)
According to my f-list, it's a zombie apocalypse out there. The usual run of flesh-eaters, ghouls, hiding from the undead, cutting down the undead, going out in a glory of flame and death, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

Me, I have Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer, and I'm rocking out to the Silver Surfer being more awesome than thou. Gotta love that power cosmic.

Also, does every Fantastic Four antagonist have a thing for Sue? Seriously?

I am told that Von Doom is much better this time around than he was in the first movie. Spoilers )

Johnny Storm is perfect. Also, lickable. Mmmm. But still, that is a perfect Johnny. Loved, loved, loved the scene with him chasing the Silver Surfer. The others were good, too, though I was constantly just a wee bit bothered by the way Sue looked. Nothing against the actress - she was quite good for the part. It just bothered me.

Nice running gag with the effort to get Reed and Susan married. Lots of fun when Von Doom cut loose. Lots of fun when the Surfer was magnificently awesome and mansome. Also, shiny.

Fun movie all around.
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beckyh2112: (Loved It)
( May. 4th, 2008 02:25 pm)
I love watching Tony Stark build and test things. If they wanted to fill more of the movie with Tony Stark building and testing things under various conditions that would be awesome.

I need an Iron Man workshop. Icon. Yeah. Both of those.
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beckyh2112: (Pure Evil)
( Feb. 9th, 2008 08:06 pm)
Okay, saw the latter half of the movie. This was made more entertaining by not knowing what I was watching for most of it.

Spent most of the movie cheering for the brother to survive. Spoilers )

As an action-adventure movie, I'd take the half I saw, stick that on as the first half after cutting out the very final scene. Then go on a rescue mission.
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