beckyh2112 | Request Meme Etiquette

Entry tags:

fandom,
rant

Request Meme Etiquette

Someone posts a request-a-fic meme! Shiny! You make a request! Shiny! They write for you! DAZZLING!

You never respond.

*brakes screech*

Yeah, when you do that? You're being a dick. Someone went to time and effort to write something just for you, based on the prompt you gave. It may not be what you wanted, but even if it isn't, you should still say 'thank you'.

You know why? Because it's hurtful to ignore, intentionally or not, something made specifically for you.

But I am disorganized, you say! I forget these things! I cannot be expected to keep track of things!

Well, the simplest method is to stop participating then. But we'll assume you don't want to do that.

- make a folder in your inbox specifically for the e-mail notifications you get of meme-fics that you haven't replied to yet. go through and clean it out every week by replying
- if you have a Paid account, adjust your message settings so the only entries that go into your LJ inbox are the threads you're tracking on request-memes. go through and clean it out every week by replying
- open the meme-fic in a new tab as soon as you get it. don't close the tab until you reply.

This isn't rocket science. A little extra effort on your part is all it takes to not hurt people you presumably don't want to be hurting.

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Not to mention, if you've read the fic that was written for you? You can reply RIGHT THEN AND THERE. "Thanks!" does not take that long.

Maybe they want to leave something more in-depth. But if you know you've got a habit of not responding unless you reply immediately, just go ahead and reply immediately. Wheaton's Law, people. Don't be a dick.

O guru of meme request etiquette:

What do you do when someone says "Oh, but I don't know how to reply?"

I mean, I know the basics, but does it involve a brick or something with spikes? What is the preferred method?

First, I tell them "try a simple 'thank you' then maybe up your game to saying what specifically you like when you feel more confident".

Then I get shitfaced.

My preferred method is "okay, then no requests for you until you learn to say something, even 'Wow, this rocked! Thank you!'" Bricks or spikes are likely up to your own discretion.

It worked once! It will work again!

Not that I don't know exactly who you're talking about or anything. >.>

THIS NEEDS TO BECOME A MACRO

*snickers* You are entirely correct, good sir!

I completely agree! I always try to review fics that I enjoy, regardless of whether or not they were written for me - and if they were, then I pay extra-special attention. If I don't respond to one, it's merely because I haven't realized it was posted (which doesn't happen often), and if that was the case, I soon stumble across it and write a reply.

I fully understand your position, though. Seriously. I like to think of reviews as part thank-you and part payment for the gift of the writing. :)

If it's a fic I write just for whatever reason, I don't expect reviews/responses. It makes me really happy when people do respond, though.

But I have different standards for gift-fics, and I consider meme-fics to be a type of gift-fic. If I make a gift for you, even if you hate it, you owe me at least a thank you. Because I didn't have to write you jack.

I live by this, too. (Oh boy, do I live by this. Oh, Yuletide.) If someone makes a gift for me, I will say 'thank you' even if I hate it. I may not say much more, but I will thank them for the time and effort to create it. Because they didn't have to.

Perhaps it's because of some innate Canadian-ness within me, I ALWAYS say thank you, even if, as you say, I hated the gift. I also apologize if someone bumps into ME, but that's just incidental. ;)

Saying 'Thank you' takes only eight key swipes. I'd be a little more forgiving of not replying because of my own habits. I try to correct them and I realize it's frustrating when someone writes you something and you don't say thank you. And when I do reply late, I apologize like mad. Because not saying anything when someone does something for you is HURTFUL.

I tend to forgive delays, especially when accompanied by apologies. But never replying at all ever or only replying (and apologizing) when prompted to by me is just... Well, obviously me writing for such a person doesn't mean anything to them, does it?

A lot of the time, I have nothing meaningful to say, so I'll just say something like, "That was awesome."

But then I feel bad I couldn't brain something more useful to say. >_

Trust me "that was awesome" is more than enough. Just acknowledging someone wrote something for you makes a writer happy. Anything else is just bonus.

So very agreed, in my case for art instead of fic. I also fins it dickish when people don't hold up their end of a trade after you've completed yours in a timely fashion.

I've sworn off multifandom fic and art challenges because of the lack of feedback. In that case it's not so personal; I'm usually writing it for the community, not one person. However, it boils down to the same thing for me: a lot of effort for nothing.

Not replying to gift-art makes even less sense to me than not responding to gift-fic. But I've also had a devil of a time with commissions lately, so I can understand the trade problem.

I wish more people understood that "a lot of effort for nothing" is not how creative types prefer to work. Sure, they may still do creative stuff whether they get anything back for it or not, because they enjoy doing it. But they're not going to do something specifically to someone else's request if they get nothing out of it. Why go to that trouble?

I know that I was first one of those bastards who requested and then didn't comment. My excuse is that I was having some really rough time, but when one person commented on it, I chose to become better.

There was a time when my e-mail was...insane (and down because of downtime), but nowadays it has calmed down considerably. Also the fact that because of the timezones, people post fics at night so I get to read them at morning. Which usually means that in my half-hour time in the morning when I can be on a computer until running of to the school I have an assload of fics which I want to read. And then, logically, I forget to comment because I just simply didn't have time to do it immediatly.

Nowadays, everytime I notice a fic meant for me, I put it in a new window and take it off only when I've commented it. Helped a tons, btw.

And now I am worrying about those fics I have forgotten to comment. *eyeroll* Because I have no idea which I have and have not commented.

I can understand how having a rough time makes it hard to comment (Lord knows I can). But I really do appreciate that you got better about it and figured out new systems to manage to comment to things.

*snugs*

Yeah, if it's close friends I'd be curious if I didn't get a response - even a "Thanks!" is fine just to acknowledge they've seen it even if they didn't like it (Although I'm actually good with people saying 'Not really to my taste' too - whether or not I care depends on who they are of course. ;3).

On the other hand, if I do a drabble offer post that's open to the general public I can guarantee that there's usually at least one person in ten that request but don't reply to what I write for them. I always wonder if they've actually seen it, if they hated it so much it fried their keyboard, if it's just a case of they lost track or are having a hard time IRL, or if it really is a genuine case of they read it and couldn't be bothered to say a word. That last is the only one that actively annoys me. I should note that the last couple that did it to me aren't writers themselves, or at least they don't post on LJ/DW/FFN under the same name, so maybe that's part of it.

If you ever spot me not responding to a filled prompt for heaven's sake tell me.

Oh, I always figure there's people who won't reply. They still annoy me. -_-;;

In a more serious response than my last one, I'll admit mea culpa when I didn't get that the first time you posted a fic for me--I tend to comment on stuff in IM rather than with LJ replies, when you pointed out you like tangible responses that is completely fair enough and understandable.

And in case there are any fics that slipped between the cracks, thank you for doing every single one of them, you're a great writer and an awesome person for sharing your talent with people.

Yeah, I tend to cut slack for people who contact me on IM about it, because there is a certain level of "didn't I already tell you I like this?". But I do try to let people know I prefer comment-responses.

Awwww, you're sweet, Scott. <3

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Request Meme Etiquette

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Here is an instructional diagram to help with this problem....

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