Nexus RPG Frustrations

[beckyh2112]

I'm still pretty frustrated over something that happened around Christmas in our current plotline.

Background for those who are interested: Assorted Transformers have been turned human and sold into slavery. Since the player for some of the very vital characters had to take a hiatus due to RL, a lot of the roleplaying action is going on among the people trying to rescue the slaves and the people trying to get the machine rebuilt so they can restore the transformed Transformers to their proper bodies.

Christmas Day, the remaining active player of an extremely vital Transformer-turned-human hit a Magic Reset button on her character. She has demonstrated no interest in trying to reconcile her character being reset with our ongoing plotline.

And this is frustrating as hell since at least one of the characters involved in rescue operations wouldn't be involved if it weren't for her character. Hell, one of the utterly major plotpoints wouldn't have happened at all without her character.

But she just... backed out. Because she couldn't keep up with the roleplay.

WE'VE GOT AN INDEX! An index for every post in the RP!

Except, of course, it's not because she can't keep up. It seems to be because one of her friends got annoyed at the rest of us and the way we roleplay. Apparently, we should slow down and wait for people who are not online to get a word in. Yeah, and when did you guys do that during the Void Saga? I seem to recall most of that being, oh, about seven of us, and we sure as hell didn't wait and see if anyone else wanted to get involved. But look, three of that seven are now complaining because other people are going on with their roleplays when they aren't online.

I guess if I weren't used to the concept that if you miss something, you miss something and should just catch up, I might be more sympathetic. But there's a big part of me that believes if you've got to go to bed, you should do something to make sure your character can be limbo while other characters play on. They shouldn't have to break up their gaming because you can't be on; that makes things not fun for them.

But maybe I'm an entitlement bitch. That's always a possibility.

ETA assorted clarifications: Yes, there was more to her resetting than her friend not liking some of the rest of us. I can understand and accept those other reasons, but it annoys the hell out of me that I have find out about them from a third-party.

I am angry over her leaving. I am really angry over the majority of us getting handed an excuse instead of the actual issues being brought up. I am not a mind-reader. I'm not even especially text-empathic. I'm willing to bet most of the rest of us aren't. If you don't say something, then other people won't know about it and nothing will be fixed.

Comments

[wrongly-amused.livejournal.com]

Ah, that's why I don't join RPGs. If you can't keep up with the pace, then don't expect others to work around your schedule. Hopefully everything works out.

[poptartodoom.livejournal.com]

They shouldn't have to break up their gaming because you can't be on; that makes things not fun for them.

So the fact that neither her character nor mine had ANY gameplay since some point in November isn't a good enough reason to quit? The only reason I haven't is because I haven't anything else to do with my character. She was tired of the drama.

[beckyh2112.livejournal.com]

And you know, maybe if she'd said that, I wouldn't be so angry over this.

[beckyh2112.livejournal.com]

In addition:

Not getting gameplay is a good reason to quit or maybe start a new character. However, you have expressed an interest in not starting a new character, nor do you have a character that you've basically told us NPC when we keep asking for you to respond to things with that character.

[poptartodoom.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure what she told others, but from our discussions of it, she was tired of how it was hurting her friends. I'd been hurt deeply by things that happened several times, and I know some of her other friends were similarly hurt. She posted about it a few times in her normal LJ about how it was spinning out of control and she just wanted to quit.

She was tired of being a part of something that hurt her friends. Maybe she didn't explain for reasons of her own, or maybe I'm just totally barking up the wrong tree, but in my understanding, it wasn't *fun* anymore. She just wanted to have her character back.

However, just because she took her PC out doesn't mean she said we couldn't NPC the character. She was fine with that. She just didn't want to play in that game anymore.

I don't, either, but there's no real point in pulling out, for me. My character wouldn't have anything to do anyway. I hadn't used him in any other capacity yet. And maybe I'll finally get to do something that I'll actually enjoy, instead of ending up in tears of frustration constantly like before. What can I say- I'm a RPG masochist, I think. >_>

[beckyh2112.livejournal.com]

I can get not wanting to play a game that wasn't fun anymore. I can get being upset over the way the game was affecting people. I can understand all of that.

But I'm also working under the fact that I woke up on Christmas morning to find Duskwing's player almost in tears because of what she had posted. And when I did found out why she pulled out, it was "I couldn't keep up with it". Nothing else.

I'm still angry over that. I can see why she did what she did, but it doesn't take away a lot of my anger. Especially since I had to find out about her being exceptionally upset with the game, above and beyond how I was feeling, through third-parties.

As for being an RPG masochist... I still play Transformers: 2005. That game is far, far wankier and more hurtful than the Nexus rpg has been. Seems like the damn MUSH keeps running on spite.

[ravenclaw-devi.livejournal.com]

She was tired of being a part of something that hurt her friends.

Okay, this is something I can understand. Or rather, something I would have understood if I had frelling known about it. As it is, I had no frickin' idea that anyone was feeling hurt because nobody told me (or anyone?) anything. This is what's bothering me - the lack of communication.

Yes, I realise I wasn't exactly there much directly before Christmas, but I wasn't unreachable either. I would have responded to e-mail or a note on my LJ. That, and if I understand this correctly, the problem (whatever problem I wasn't told about) has been more long-going than that.

[navigatorsghost.livejournal.com]

*insert placeholder wangst here* mostly because I feel obliged to reply to this but I can't think of a damn thing to say that won't cause more drama. I'll be back to this whole subject once I've checked a few things with a few people, but that'll be in my own journal or IC, so see you down the line...

[ravenology.livejournal.com]

*sighs*

Y'know, for the record, I just wanna say that it saddens me to see how things seem to have turned out. It was fun once, but now people're getting upset at the roleplay and at each other and I don't know what to think about it all. I kinda wish things would just go back to how they were before when there weren't any problems, but it's not like wishing is gonna do anything.

I don't think the plotline is impossible to continue with. It'll just mean we have to do some NPCing. Then the sooner the last lose ends are tied up the better, seeing as then we wouldn't be relying on anybody in particular to post something or whatever, and we can go back to RPing without too much plot because I think we've had enough plot for to last us a good while.

This plot was a good idea. I've had fun with it. But I don't think anybody expected it to explode into what it ended up turning into. I don't think anybody imagined at the start that it would grow so big. And the fact that it HAS gotten so big isn't anybody's fault. But it seems to be causing a lotta problems and I think we should aim towards working on an end to this part of the story. Then we wouldn't be held up by the need to finish a plot and we could go back to just interacting again as and how it happens. Then people can enjoy themselves and I don't have to sit and watch you all getting upset at each other. Because I've had fun with this RP, and yes it got chaotic at times but all in all, it was enjoyable. Seeing other people I give a damn about getting so upset because of it tears me up, and I'm consequently getting kind of sick of seeing it happen. I feel like I'm watching as the drama unfolds while I'm sitting along a fence a short distance away, not quite knowing what's happening and not knowing how to go about solving the problem, but certain that I don't like the arguments.

Please, people. One of these days, I'm going to ask that you all give me the full story because I'm evidently missing chunks of it and I'm getting really fucking confused as a result, and I'm getting kinda tired about people saying stuff about other people without being able to hear things straight from the horse's mouth. I do agree with Devi that there needs to be more communication. Maybe it there'd been more damn communication to start with, we wouldn't even have had these problems anyhow.

[beckyh2112.livejournal.com]

Plots have a tendency to attract people. When TFBlogs got plotted, it started sprawling massively.

[ravenology.livejournal.com]

This is true. And you know what? I liked it. I liked the fact that more people and more characters were starting to play on the Nexus. I'm just... alright, disappointed and a little upset that what started out as something so cool has ended up upsetting so many people who I actually give a damn about. And that's frustrating.

[beckyh2112.livejournal.com]

I guess it's because I've had a temper problem all of my life, but... To me, anything that involves a large amount of people is going to make someone upset. Being angry on someone else's behalf or upset that they're unhappy is all well and good, but it's not a reason for you to pull yourself out. At least, that's my view on things.

God knows I'm not her and that I don't fully understand all of the factors going into her decision. God knows that applying my personal standards to other people has landed me in hot water before.

But, y'know, bringing issues up (to people who aren't already furiously angry at the time) can actually do a lot to help them get resolved. Just... limping along in silence doesn't help in the long run.

I guess the question is, do you care enough about the game to want to resolve things, or do you just hurt too much and want to get the fuck out? There's ways to handle both situations gracefully, and they both require communication.

[ravenclaw-devi.livejournal.com]

I guess if I weren't used to the concept that if you miss something, you miss something and should just catch up, I might be more sympathetic. But there's a big part of me that believes if you've got to go to bed, you should do something to make sure your character can be limbo while other characters play on.

Well, having been schooled on message board RPGs, that's what I'm used to as well. You either keep up, or if you can't keep up for reasons beyond your control (RL, or what have you), you designate someone to move your character(s) as needed while you're away. So no, I don't consider your level of "entitlement" unreasonable.

That being said, to repeat myself, I don't hate anyone over this.

As for my feelings on the matter - when I saw that Reset Button post, my first thought was, "Wha-?"

My second thought was, "Has she talked with others about this (and why wasn't I told when it was talked about?), or has she just decided this singlehandedly?" Because, I'm sorry, but IMHO, pushing the Magic Reset Button on a pivotal character in an RP that involves a whole bunch of other people isn't something that one should decide singlehandedly without consulting with said other people.

My third thought was that I was not at all happy at the prospect of having to adjust to the idea that the entire most recent part of lavender_wings' life never happened (yes, she's a fictional character, but she still has a life - you know what I mean), especially considering all the other things she could have done in the mean time.

Before you say it - yes, I realise that not saying as much when I first saw that Reset post makes me guilty of the same lack of communication I just complained about. But the thing is, it was Christmas, and I kinda had other things to do than concern myself with what was going on on LJ. That, and I was kinda tacitly assuming she did consult with others before making that post, because I just couldn't imagine she'd be so inconsiderate as to do otherwise. Chalk it up to my faith in my friends.

Once again, I don't hate anyone over this. I'm just upset that I'm only now finding out that apparently, people were hurt and people were unhappy and nobody bothered to say a thing. How are we supposed to resolve issues if no one knows that there are issues?

[navigatorsghost.livejournal.com]

I think the thing is that we DID say a thing, at least some of us did. I've seen logs of arguments that ran until about 6am my time where people tried to sort things out. I've tried to talk to people myself. I've voiced my own discomfort/wish to quit more than once, and what I mostly got was a cascade of Galvatron-fangirling in response (for which, okay, it's nice to be appreciated, so thanks guys.)

What I personally can't handle is the timezone issues, the upset friends, the presence of players and characters who actively frustrate/annoy me and my charas*, and the fact that I come off the long sessions feeling physically ill from ignoring my body's and mind's needs to keep pace and hold twelve IM convos at once. Galvatron may be able to split his attention that many ways, but I'm only human. I can't. And much as I do enjoy online RP, I can't afford for it to become the only thing I do with my free time. My creative abilities, and the rest of my RL, can't stand that strain.


*note: I don't like RPing conflicts when I feel like I can't agree with the player and my chara can't agree with theirs at the same time, no matter whose fault it is (and I'm willing to accept it may be mine). I wind up feeling like I've lost my grip on the situation, and on levelheadedness, too much.

[beckyh2112.livejournal.com]

If you're referring to what I'm think you're referring to, that argument happened extremely early in the plotline. I thought, at the time, that while it wasn't resolved in a way I found personally satisfying, it was resolved. Maybe I was wrong. I'm extremely good at being wrong about that sort of thing.

And again, I thought the two of us had more or less worked out our issues.

I've never advocated people pushing themselves past their limits in games. Taking time is not a terrible, evil thing.

But I do think that if you're going to leave a game, you should find a graceful way to do it. That's why one of the things I've always said about removing Elita is that I would do it "after the scene/plot/rollercoaster" was finished. Because it's not fair to the other players for her to just vanish with no explanation.

[navigatorsghost.livejournal.com]

This is why I'm currently working out how to gracefully, IC-ly remove my lot and anyone else who wants to quit, since conveniently most of the doubters are on the same warship at the moment...

[dragoness-e.livejournal.com]

*note: I don't like RPing conflicts when I feel like I can't agree with the player and my chara can't agree with theirs at the same time, no matter whose fault it is (and I'm willing to accept it may be mine). I wind up feeling like I've lost my grip on the situation, and on levelheadedness, too much.

*looks sheepish* I hope it's not me and Starscream causing you that particular upset. I'd adjusted to your interpretation of Galvatron being different from mine--hey, my interpretation of post-S3 Starscream is probably completely out-to-lunch by some standards, but it makes sense to me. I've learned that RP characters are not necessarily the same ones we see on the TV (or in the comics)--they are their own interesting personalities. Besides, I like your Galvatron a whole lot more than the canonical S3 one, or the comics one. (*fangirls you again*)

[ravenclaw-devi.livejournal.com]

While I'm not Rath... yes, going by what I remember seeing, I can say that your Starscream differs from how I would see/write/play him, but that doesn't mean I can't find it interesting/enjoyable to see him in RP. If I wanted each and every character to follow my interpretation, I wouldn't RP at all; I'd just sit and write fic, know what I mean?

[ravenclaw-devi.livejournal.com]

I think the thing is that we DID say a thing, at least some of us did. I've seen logs of arguments that ran until about 6am my time where people tried to sort things out.

See, I wasn't there for those arguments. *sheepish look* So, I'm sorry for falsely accusing people of not saying anything?

the timezone issues

About those... I think for the future, we (general "we") really should discuss whether in regards with RP that includes a good number of players from the UK/Europe, main RPing hours should still default to "what's convenient for the Americans."

In regards with everthing... I understand.

[seiberwing.livejournal.com]

*note: I don't like RPing conflicts when I feel like I can't agree with the player and my chara can't agree with theirs at the same time, no matter whose fault it is (and I'm willing to accept it may be mine). I wind up feeling like I've lost my grip on the situation, and on levelheadedness, too much.

Looking back, I think that's why I was playing Wheelie as way more of a jerk than he should have been.

[lunatron.livejournal.com]

This why LJ RP scares me.

[heatherbeast.livejournal.com]

I... I...

*hands you a U2*

Zing! Well done.

Despite the LJ Cut, the large # of replies lured me in. I think I might now be at greater risk of ovarian cancer from the sheer amount of hormones oozing from the above discussion above.

[ravenology.livejournal.com]

*considers throwing popcorn at you both*

(:P)

[seiberwing.livejournal.com]

The thing is, it works well enough when you've only got a few people in a given post or thread. You get past, say, three to a thread or seven to a post and things can get hairy.

[horsetechie.livejournal.com]

Saaa... further proof that it must be the bane of every large RP that some sort of blow-up will come of it after some time.

And so this is why Skywarp (and Vertigo, Jetfire, and SL 'Buster... and nonTFBlogs!Sunstorm) have decided to stay out of the intricate storylines of that Nexus RP. Mostly, 'cause I have very little time to RP as much as the rest, and I don't need to deal with more RP politics than necessary due to that fact. ^^